101 SKELETON JOKES

Back in 1983, with the expressed purpose of torturing my brother, I wrote 101 skeleton jokes. Later, in 1990, I posted these skeleton jokes, one a day, on talk.bizarre, wasting hundreds if not thousands of dollars each time, and in the process driving everyone stark raving mad. From time to time, over the years, I have been known to tell these jokes to people on muds who annoyed me.

Now you TOO can enjoy these skeleton jokes!

1. What does a skeleton weigh?
An 1/8 of a skeleton
2. What does a skeleton sing?
A skeletune
3. What does a skeleton get in the sun?
A skeletan
4. How high can a skeleton count?
To skele-ten
5. What is a skeleton's watch made of?
Skele-tin
6. Why do skeletons make good pets?
Because they are skele-tame
7. What is a young skeleton?
A skeleteen
8. Where does a skeleton live?
In the skele-time zone
9. Where are skeletons buried?
In a skeletomb
10. What do high class skeletons drink?
Skelewine
11. What kind of coins do skeletons have?
Skeledimes
12. What do skeletons find on the seashore?
Shellatons
13. What was the name of the movie about skeletons in Columbia? 
Romancing the Bone
14. What do skeletons like to eat?
Ribs
15. What is a skeleton's favorite color?
Bone White
16. How does a skeleton get from one floor to another?
He uses a skelevator
17. Which skeleton is a famous comedian from yesteryear?
Red Skeleton
18. Where does a skeleton keep his pet parakeet?
In his ribcage
19. How do skeletons communicate?
Through the skelephone
20. What are the titles of the 3 movies dealing with the Skeleton Empire and the force?
(1) Skull Wars (2) The Empire Strikes Bone (3) Return of the Joints
21. Where do skeletons play Pro Football?
In the skeledome
22. Where does a skeleton go after work?
To his skele-home
23. What do you call a giant skeleton?
Skele-Kong
24. What do you call the skeleton leader?
The skele-king
25. What does a skeleton cook his eggs in?
A skilleton
26. What do you call a mother skeleton?
Skele-mom
27. What is a skeleton's favorite tree?
The skele-pine
28. Who is the most glamorous female skeleton?
The skele-queen
29. What do you see at the skeleton's circus?
A big skelephant
30. What kind of string do skeletons use?
Skele-twine
31. What grows up the side of a skeleton's house?
A skelevine
32. What does a female skeleton wear?
A vertebra
33. What does a skeleton drive?
A skeletruck
34. What is the skeleton's rapid tranist system called?
The Skullway
35. What is the skeleton's political party?
The Bonacratic Party
36. What is a skeleton's favorite car?
The convertabrae
37. What do skeletons wear on their heads?
Knee caps
38. What do you call a stupid skeleton?
A numbskull
39. What is a skeleton's favorite insult?
The word 'Bonehead'
40. What is the name of a TV series about a black skeleton Lt. Governor?
Boneson
41. What endangered species of animals is in the skeleton's zoo?
The Gazelleton
42. What are a skeleton's bones made of?
Tiny cellatons
43. How does a skeleton sandwich taste?
Crunchy
44. What skeleton actor starred in horror movies in the 40's?
Bellaton Lugosi
45. What is a skeleton's favorite desert?
Jelloton
46. How does a skeleton get into his house?
With a skeleton key
47. What do you call a fanatical skeleton?
A zealaton
48. What is a skeleton's favorite drink?
Skoka-skulla
49. Who is a famous skeleton woodsman?
Daniel Bone
50. Which skeleton sang 'You Light Up My Life'?
Pat Bone
51. What is the name of a skeleton's gravedigger?
Fido
52. What do you call a baby skeleton?
A skeletot
53. What do skeletons have nightmares of?
Dogs
54. Where did the skeleton plug in his toaster?
In his eye socket
55. How tall is a skeleton?
One skelemeter
56. Why do skeletons always ride the pirate's ship?
Because of their flag
57. Why didn't the female ghost like the skeleton guy?
She had skeletiophobia
58. Who is the doctor a skeleton goes to?
'Bones' McCoy on the Enterprise
59. What forms of major education do skeletons attend?
High Skull and Skullege
60. What is the name of a major skeleton music magazine?
The Rolling Bone
61. What do you call a smart skeleton?
A skullar
62. What gem is in a skeleton's ring?
A skelestone
63. What is a skeleton's favorite fruit?
A bone-ana
64. What is a rich skeleton's candy?
Bone-bones
65. Where do skeletons eat fast food?
At the 'Home of the Big Skelebun'
66. What do skeletons eat for breakfast?
Bonuts
67. What did the skeleton get for killing a ghost?
2000 Bone-us points
68. What is a skeleton's favorite comic strip?
Doonesboney
69. What does a skeleton put under his truck?
Skeletires
70. Where do skeletons go to college?
Alabona State University
71. Who is a famous japanese skeleton monster?
Bonezilla
72. Where do skeletons go for great seafood?
Bonnecticut
73. What brand of car do skeletons drive?
Bonetiac
74. What kind of airplane do skeletons fly?
Boneing 747
75. What is a skeleton's favorite flavor of ice cream?
Skullberry
76. What does I.B.M. stand for?
Important Bone Monster
77. Which skeleton ran for president?
Walter Bonedale
78. Where do skeletons have their businesses?
In giant skullscrapers
79. Where do skeletons go on vacation?
Boney Island
80. How do skeletons stop?
Vertebrakes
81. What do skeletons clean their teeth with?
Flossils
82. What do skeletons like the hambugers on?
A Sesame Seed Bone
83. What happens on the skeleton's new year's day?
The Orange Bone, The Rose Bone, The Cotton Bone....
84. What size is a giant skeleton?
Coflosssil
85. How does a skeleton score a touchdown?
He puts the ball in the endsbone
86. How did the magic skeleton escape?
He skeleported
87. What did the skeleton study in college?
Flossilopy
88. What is bony and sits on lilypads?
A skeletoad
89. What do you pay in order to cross the skeleton's bridge?
A skeletoll
90. Where is the skeleton's capital?
Washkeleton, D.C.
91. Which skeleton has a pet beagle who thinks he is a WW II pilot ace?
Charlie Bone
92. What musical instrument does a skeleton play?
A Uskeleleton
93. What does a skeleton eat on a hot summer day?
Snowbones
94. What kind of skeletons live in Alaska?
Eskibones
95. Which female skeleton comedian wants to know if she can talk?
Bone Rivers
96. What is the skeleton's holy book?
The Rible
97. What do all skeletons finally meet?
Their skeledoom
98. Who is a famous skeleton caveman?
Fred Flintsbone
99. Where do female skeletons go if they want equal rights?
Women's rib
100. What do skeleton pitchers throw?
Knuckleballs
101. What do you find at the end of 101 skeleton jokes?
>>>>>>>The End<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

"EEEAAAH!!!!"